There are those who say “less is more,” and there are those who say “less is stupid.” The latter are responsible for taking a steak sandwich, deciding it needed more calories, and creating the Breaded Steak Sandwich. A thin cut of beef is breaded and fried, placed in a hoagie roll, and covered in what they call “red gravy.” Ricobene’s here in Chicago is famous for it.
Eva: It’s the kangaroo of sandwiches. It’s carrying around a slightly smaller breaded thing in its pouch.
Miles: I’m not entirely sure why they felt the need to bread the tinfoil the sandwich came wrapped in, but it’s delicious.
Ian: This is the perfect sandwich for the person who is six people.
Miles: This is the regular-sized version of the sandwich. The jumbo size is just a cow dusted with cornmeal.
Peter: A good side for this sandwich would be a flat rock you can lie on the rest of the day to digest it.
Robert: It’s the turducken of carb loading: meat within bread, within bread.
Ian: Weirdly, “breaded” is a past tense verb that temporarily makes present tense verbs impossible.
Eva: Guys, we really liked last week’s sandwich, too. What’s happening to us? Are we suffering from Sandwichholm Syndrome?
Ian: This is way better than that time I made a typo and ordered a bearded steak sandwich. Stupid hipster sandwiches.
Peter: Breading steak is an old tradition in Chicago. The Great Chicago Fire was started when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow knocked over the enormous deep fryer.
Miles: Breading is to meat what slankets are to people.
[The verdict: a delicious sandwich. A huge, delicious sandwich.]
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