Whether the Subway Fritos Chicken Enchilada Sub was the result of creative inspiration or an enormous workplace Fritos spill, we’ll never know. What matters is it happened, and it’s only a matter of time until all foods everywhere will be available topped with Fritos.
Ian: I like that they’re thinking in texture. And adding crunch with Fritos is way better than McDonald’s creepy BBQ McTickle.
Miles: Yeah, but let’s be honest, crunches are the last thing anyone is going to be doing after eating this sandwich.
Ian: I just feel weird about any food measured in distance. In other countries, does Subway sell metric sandwiches?
Miles: “I’ll have a 5-pound 30-centimeter long, please.”
Eva: In small rural villages they sell sandwiches that are “as the crow flies”-long.
Ian: Astronomers measure really long foods in Regret Years.
Robert: The freedom to misappropriate ethnic cuisines is the reason we fought the Mexican-American War.
Miles: This is certainly more successful than Subway’s Chicken Piñata sub.
Eva: I’m so proud of Jared Fogle — he was able to gain all the weight back in a matter of weeks simply by eating these three times a day! *
Ian: In an amazing synchronicity, a man barfed Fritos all over the train this morning. So I had Fritos on both my Subways today!
Ian: Now that we know that a compound used in the making of yoga mats is also used in Subway bread, eating this counts as stretching!
Eva: Yeah, I can just feel my inner chakras expanding.
Robert: I think the Frito Bandito just stole three years from the end of my life.
[The verdict: not bad. It’s the kind of thing you’d create with all the random ingredients if you found yourself in a Subway restaurant with no one watching, so it’s fun they made it official.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me!
* Note: Like most things in Sandwich Monday, we’re just making this up.