Making foods portable has long been a focus of food engineers. Gogurt did it for Yogurt, the McLeash made it easier to drag all your favorite McDonald’s foods along with you. And now, by turning the open-faced sandwich closed and upping the viscosity of its Hollandaise, Dunkin’ Donuts has brought portability to Eggs Benedict.
Miles: The full name is Eggs Benedict Arnold, because this sandwich is a traitor to everything breakfast should stand for.
Peter: I’m happy Dunkin’s is going more upscale. I’m looking forward to the sous vide Munchkins.
Ian: I’d just like to point out how disturbing this choice on the Dunkin’ Donuts website is:
Ian: Carrier. It’s infected with Eggs Benedict but is not yet showing symptoms.
Miles: Typhoid Benedict.
Ian: I always get mixed up on the grammar. It’s Eggs Benedict, like attorneys general, right?
Robert: Lives Threatening.
Peter: Finally, a gourmet brunch the same diameter as your cup holder.
Robert: Yeah, it’s great to be able to enjoy brunch on my drive in to work, but if I get pulled over, it might be hard to explain the mimosa.
Ian: OK, “brunch” is “breakfast” plus “lunch,” so this is technically “brisgusting.”
[The verdict: a split decision on this one. I liked it. Peter liked it. Robert started crying and we haven’t seen Mike in an hour. I think the high-viscosity Hollandaise is a real marvel of engineering, and the proof is that I did not spill one drop on my pants.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me!
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