Sandwich Monday: Domino’s Specialty Chicken

May 12, 2014

First, KFC replaced bread with chicken in the famous Double Down sandwich. Then, President Obama replaced Steven Chu with chicken as secretary of energy. Now, Domino’s has created Specialty Chicken, which is essentially pizza with chicken in the place of crust.

Eva: The only thing left is pie dough made from chicken. Actually, that’s not the only thing left.

Miles: I can’t wait until we start breading chicken in more chicken.

Eva: It’s a weird day when vegetarians have to order the tofu pizza dough.

Miles: Making pizza out of chickens makes the act of tossing the dough a lot more fun. Thank goodness they’re flightless.

Ian: I feel bad for the guy eating General Tso’s pizza dough somewhere.

Peter: I’m eating and enjoying something without the mental capacity to understand what it is. I feel like a sea anemone.

Ian: All of a sudden, “at your door in 30 minutes or less” sounds like a threat.

Miles: “Lock the door, it’s Domino’s!”

Ian: This does bring up that age old-question: Which came first, the chicken or the end of the world?

Robert: Why stop here? Next time I’m ordering the turduckizza.

[The verdict: Tasty, and of course it is. It’s fried chicken topped with cheese and, in some cases, bacon. But I don’t know, maybe I’m a traditionalist, I just think chicken should stay where it belongs: replacing the bread on sandwiches.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!

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