Sandwich Monday: Taco Bell’s Quesarito

June 9, 2014

When you bite into a traditional burrito, your teeth have to endure one or two boring seconds of tortilla before they reach the filling within.

Taco Bell, continuing its mission to solve all of life’s problems, has fixed that with the new Quesarito. It’s a burrito that replaces the tortilla with a cheese-filled quesadilla.

Miles: What a revolutionary idea. I’m excited to see how a burrito tastes once you add some tortilla and cheese.

Robert: It’s like a soft cast for a sprained burrito.

Eva: Burritos wrapped in regular tortillas are now considered “Skinny Burritos.”

Miles: I’m trying to think of a food that can’t be made better by wrapping a quesadilla around it, and I’m coming up blank.

Peter: Even a blank space would be better with a quesadilla wrapped around it.

Eva: It’s like a padded cell for a violent burrito!

Miles: Quesarito is the new Kimye. I hope I’m invited to the wedding so I can eat all the guests.

Ian: I just put “Quesarito” into Google Translate. It came back “C’mon, man. You’re better than this.”

Eva: This is what happens when a quesadilla has a big lunch.

Peter: It reminds of how I used to swaddle my baby daughters all wrapped up tight in a blankie. Then I ate them.

Miles: This is a much better way to insulate a burrito than Taco Bell’s original idea, which was to surround it with asbestos.

Robert: Hey guys, I just counted the rings on mine; it’s only a week old!

Ian: I had to eat a Quesarito. Que serito, serito.

[The verdict: delicious. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me!

Copyright 2014 NPR. To see more, visit

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