There are dangerous sandwiches out there: the Wendy’s Sharpened Chicken Classic, the McRib that’s always sending you emails with questionable attachments. But they pale in comparison to the famous pork chop sandwich from Jim’s Original in Chicago: Jim leaves the bone in.
Eva: The bone also serves as a useful sandwich handle.
Miles: Eating a bone-in sandwich is the lazy person’s equivalent of free-climbing a mountain. The danger just adds to the rush.
Ian: Brackium Emendo! Brackium Emendo! Guys, it’s not working.
Eva: Are we sure the bone wasn’t put there by a disgruntled employee?
Jeanette: I get scared just thinking about the damage that bone could cause me if I ate this as a late-night drunk meal.
Ian: Yeah. I prefer when the only danger in my sandwich is unsanitary meat.
Miles: If you eat enough of these, you can reconstruct the pig.
Ian: Sandwich is bony, eater is not.
Peter: If the sandwiches sit too long before being sold, they develop osteoporosis.
Mike: I’m going to wash this down with some chunk-of-broken-glass-in Mountain Dew.
Miles: If only this were a wishbone, I could wish to have my teeth back.
[The verdict: It’s just too much work. We want a bird to chew up our sandwiches and spit them into our mouths for us, like they do at Chili’s.]
Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me!