Sandwich Monday: Breakfast In A Tin

April 13, 2015

[Sandwich Monday note: Gillian is our resident British Person.]

Americans often look upon British food as bland and stodgy, so for this week’s Sandwich Monday, I decided to prove everyone wrong with my offer of Hunger Breaks All Day Breakfast: a can of baked beans, sausage, bacon and “egg nuggets.” After a trip across the Atlantic, we blitzed our meal in the microwave, then poured it back into the can for the complete experience. A cup of strong tea and drizzle are optional.

Miles: If we had two of these and a bit of string, we could make the world’s most revolting telephone.

Gillian: Oh, it tastes like home!

Mike: Did you grow up in a boxcar?

Miles: What came first, the egg nugget or the chicken nugget?

Ann: I found this to be “quite lovely,” actually. That’s British slang for “wouldn’t mind eating this if I was in prison.”

Peter: It’s got everything you need for a classic British breakfast. Except for fried bread. And tea. And scones. And plates and cups. And any sense of hope.

Robert: It says “all day breakfast” but really, what are the chances of this being consumed any other time than 3 a.m.?

Eva: Make sure and stick your pinky out while eating from the can.

Ian: If you want to scare someone, tell them snakes are about to jump out of the can and then it’s this.

[The verdict: not bad. It has a bit of that Chef Boyardee or Campbell’s microwave lunch flavor. That’s probably not a good flavor, but it carries with it enough nostalgia to make it work.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait, Wait … Don’t Tell Me!

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