A Post-Election Poem

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Boulder poet David J. Rothman wrote and read a post-election poem for Colorado Matters, titled "Waltz of the Penitent Spinmeisters."

Hello…America? We know it’s early,

And we can understand you might be thoroughly

Disgusted by the way that we behaved

These last few cash-drunk months. That’s why we’ve saved

The best for last: we’re sorry. Sorry for

That bad attack ad music we adore,

For super-PAC backed robocalls that made

Your land line sound like some pinball arcade,

For anxious email blasts, each a foghorn

Beseeching you to donate your first-born,

For purple mountain majesties we used

So much to sell our guy they now looked bruised,

For YouTube rants and raves, for blowhard blogs,

The tiny campaign signs for prairie dogs.

We’re sorry for the buttons and the hats

(Both Republicans’ and Democrats’),

So many soundbites blasted into space

That peaceful aliens now avoid the place.

We pledge: no more Obama versus Romney,

No more incumbent drama, hopeful nominee;

No slippery TV debates whose zingers

Recall another show: Jerry Springer’s;

No more flash gotchas for the paparazzi,

No binders full of women…Smirks…Benghazi…

Legitimate rape…debating with a chair…

No more debaters who aren’t even there.

No more conventions, rallies, plugs, pleas, polls,

Tea Parties, video leaks, fundraising goals.

No raffles, handshakes, baby kissing, stickers,

Endorsements, promises, fact-check nitpickers,

Attacks on one percent or forty-seven.

No claims to know the way God governs heaven.

We swear we didn’t mean most stuff we said.

We’re sorry. Money does go to your head….

And when you’re blotto on some fat donation

There’s nothing you won’t say unto the nation.

But now that’s done. We’re saying what we mean.

So. Can we talk about…2016…?