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Hiking up a forgotten Forest Service road in autumn with her dogs, CMarie notices the golden larch needles drifting around her. Then, she stumbles upon a strange discovery that causes her to reflect on grace.

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This episode takes place on Nimiipuu and Shonshone Bannock homelands.

Host and Writer: CMarie Fuhrman Field Recordist: Jacob Job Outdoor audio recorded in Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado Editor: Erin Jones Producers: Rebekah Romberg, Kibwe Cooper Engineer: Luis Antonio Perez Art: Maria Juliana Pinzón Executive Producer: Brad Turner Additional Editorial Support: Jo Erickson, Emily Williams Thanks also to Jodi Gersh, Clara Shelton, Arielle Wilson, Brittany Werges, Martin Skavish, Justin Peacock and Jon Pinnow

Terra Firma is a production of Colorado Public Radio's Audio Innovations Studio.

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This time to an abandoned forest service road in Idaho…

[Constant whoosh of wind through trees.]

It’s autumn, and the needles of the larch are falling as slow as the misty raindrops of spring.

It’s raining sunshine in their yellow needles. Higher on the slope, aspen leaves twirl like dancers [wind intensifies]. The deer have hunkered down away from the hunters' sights, the bear is growing sleepy in her den. Last night, the first frost covered the grass. But this afternoon, the grass stands brave against the midday sun warming it, taking this last gasp of breath before the long winter sleep.

Most people seem to like springtime the best, when everything is fresh and new. But fall seems to me more welcoming, an invitation to slow down, a reminder that enough work has been done for a while. These fall days, I wander the closed roads, a new pup at my side, the old dog still pushing ahead but slower, labored by the wear of bone. And yet, like the larch, he labors on in such a way that my respect for the word labor changes [gentle footfalls through grass, caw-caw of ravens].

Already, we can smell the body of the bear that is decaying into the grass. The dogs want nothing of it, but her body has fed the myriad creatures preparing for the long winter. Despite their disdain and the smell, I need to see what has become of her and do [rhythmic caw-caw continues]. The earth is making quick work of her. Her long white teeth are all that emerge from her head, and I touch first the top one and then the bottom, each almost an inch long. I run my tongue over my own canines and am glad for their inadequacy.

I am glad I am not scientist enough to understand the cant of light that makes fall afternoons so glorious. I don’t need to understand what makes the leaves of the mountain ash red or their berries the bright orange of kokanee. There are myriad good reasons that the needles of the larch, unlike other conifer, turn gold and fall, but I cannot list them [constant whooshing roar of wind].

This lifetime of season in the Rockies taught me everything I need to know. It is the season when the plants speak with color, and very little sound is&nbsp; in the air [leaves rattling]. Save for Raven, the birds are silently witnessing the change, too. Holding their silent reverie for the gold trees that seem to make their own light on the hillsides. Gravel crunches under our feet as we approach a hill. A squirrel chittering and whistling makes the pup startle. It’s the first time she has heard this sound, and she is unsure. This is a good place to turn around. Coming down hills hurts the old dog's shoulders, so we save this rise for another day, another season.

This is grace. The dry creek bed. The way the earth absorbs the bear's body back into her. The easy way the deer disappear into the understory without a sound. This is grace. The way the sun bathes the shortest days in the kindest light [rattling of leaves]. I want to be like that tree on the hillside, most beautiful in my final season. Absorbed, like the bear, into the earth where I have slept so many seasons. Let me be like those golden larch needles, falling slowly through these warm shafts of light. Let me be that bright sound, reminding those who walk up this autumn hill that one season cannot be better than another and that grace lies in accepting each as they come [occasional tweet, caw-caw of ravens calling to each other, soft whispers of grass, chitter of squirrel, rising tide of wind].

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Terra Firma is a podcast about the outdoors, the sounds of the natural world and our place in it. Each episode runs about 5-10 minutes and pairs reflections on nature with gorgeous soundscapes captured in wild places.

Terra Firma

Hiking up a forgotten Forest Service road, CMarie stumbles upon a strange discovery that causes her to reflect on grace.

Autumn Road (A forgotten Forest Service road in Idaho) | Colorado Public Radio

Autumn Road (A forgotten Forest Service road in Idaho)

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Terra Firma is a podcast about the outdoors, the sounds of the natural world and our place in it. Each episode runs about 5-10 minutes and pairs reflections on nature with gorgeous soundscapes captured in wild places.

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Jacob Job

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Autumn Road (A forgotten Forest Service road in Idaho)

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